Oh, how sweet it was...while it lasted.
We were about 15 minutes from home when there was an explosion. Of the diaper variety.
Daddy was sitting in the backseat next to the perp, who fell asleep post blow-out:
Wait a second...if she's the perp, maybe she should be in black and white (and imagine the Law & Order duh-duh noise as you look at her):
She appears all cute and innocent in her sleepy state, but look what was seeping out of her diaper onto her thigh (and everything it touched):
I may or may not have been excited that Daddy was stuck with the smell in the back seat, since he may or may not have missed the last half-dozen blowouts.
And I may or may not have taken the wrong exit on the highway, thereby extending our car ride by an extra five minutes.
And I may or may not have been wearing a white tank top underneath a white blouse that had to be stripped the second I walked inside the house, leaving me half-clothed to cart Baby Girl straight to the bath in a Superman-style belly hold pose.
The damage was extensive. The seepage was vast. The car seat was taken entirely apart and the pads were all washed. But there are crevices that might never smell the same--even after precision cleaning with Q-tips and paper towel-wrapped toothpicks.
To add insult to injury: in the 2.5 seconds I spent outside the garage, removing Baby Girl's car seat and hauling it inside, I got two mosquito bites on my back (the little devils even managed to attack me THROUGH the blouse I was wearing):
Yep, that's what my mosquito bites look like. That's why I'm what you'd call an Indoor Girl. And why I carry an Off! repellant fan EVERYWHERE I go (despite the mocking of friends and family members).
If I get West Nile Virus in the next few days, would somebody mind nursing my kid? She's pretty low maintenance. Just no ice cream. Or cheese. Or milk. Or yogurt. Or milk chocolate. Or spinach. It's really no biggie.
Don't all volunteer at once.
No comments:
Post a Comment