Heeeere we go!
1. Baby Girl may or may not have gotten her first taste of tissue paper this weekend.
2. I may or may not have changed a blowout (diaper, not tire) on the highway yesterday, in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma, after making it past a construction zone, and miles of nothing but the smell of poo seeping into baby clothes.
3. I may or may not have thought about lighting a match and torching those clothes.
4. And then I may or may not have just ditched the diaper and wrapped the clothes in a yellow bag with yellow tissue paper (only option available), and smelled the stank the rest of the way home.
5. I may or may not keep forgetting that I already have Betty Crocker Triple Berry muffin mix in the pantry. So I may or may not now have six packages at my disposal.
6. I may or may not have wanted a Coke Icee from 7-Eleven so bad after a trip to the grocery store just now that I hauled my exhausted daughter back out of the car and into the gas station, where I proceeded to overflow my cup like a volcano had erupted, requiring me to use close to a thousand napkins for the cleanup. And my child may or may not have gotten a taste of Icee when she then hauled her tiny body forward and licked my cup while I tried (and failed) to gracefully pay and exit with any of my dignity still in tact.
7. I may or may not have holes in every single pair of my white socks.
8. I may or may not have followed the Icee up with homemade beef jerky I stole from my mother's house over the holiday.
9. I may or may not have had mostly vegetables for lunch, thereby causing me to count the jerky as my protein.
10. I may or may not now require a Tums. Or two.
11. Tomorrow, Baby Girl may or may not be five months old.
12. Tomorrow. I may or may not have an emotional breakdown.
13. I may or may not have put up all my Christmas decorations last weekend.
14. It may or may not have take me three days when it usually takes one.
15. And last but not least, I may or may not be an over sharer.
Happy Monday, everybody!
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