Are you still with me?
Anybody???
Anybody???
Hellooo...is this thing on???
Okay, I'm just gonna assume that it is. So let's dive right in. But first, a warning: since there was a lot going on that day, and my brain only functions these days when I can file things like little folders to make sure I don't miss stuff, Christmas Eve is going to be broken into a couple of posts.
So...where to begin??
Hmmm. Let's see.
The day actually started off with a very fun session of family photos that finally, finally completed the six-month photography membership we signed up for when Baby Girl was born.
Of course, I would totally take the time right now to show you a load of hilarious and yet also embarrassing photos of all of us in coordinating white tops (oh yes, we went all in with the awkward uniform coloring), but the photos haven't been uploaded yet. So you're just going to have to imagine us all looking something like this, minus the mud:
Now, with that visual in mind, I'll tell you that I let the show (Modern Family, in case you can't tell from the above pic), inspire me to do something else that day that we called Express Christmas.
See, in an episode a season or so ago, the whole family realized on December 16th that it was their last chance to be together before separate travel schedules took them in different directions. So they decided to throw a Christmas celebration together in two hours, and I played off that idea as a way to make my family run around like crazy, with very little money and even less time.
I'm evil and I like it. Hehe.
It went something like this:
After our pictures, we huddled up over lunch and read out instructions for the "game." then I drew names out of a hat and paired everybody up, passed out envelopes with instructions, money, and time limits (just shy of two hours).
I was a little fearful that they wouldn't play along, but man, give my family something competitive, and apparently they jump. right. on. it. I could barely give everyone the final instructions before they were racing off in separate directions.
One team was tasked with decorating and assembling a six-foot tree that was boxed at home.
Another team was tasked with buying white elephant stocking stuffers for everyone.
And the final team was tasked with buying a new kitchen gadget and baking us something yummy.
And let me tell 'ya, it took about 2.5 seconds for my dear, beloved family members to resort to...
sabotage!
That's right!
Sabotage!!
Baby Girl and I--who were serving as home base so nap time could remain in tact--got the first call from a family member (who shall remain nameless, but who I'm married to), wanting to know if they could duct tape the Christmas tree box to thwart the competition.
Then I heard from my brother that my mother was yelling for cars to get out of their way.
And then I got this text from my other brother, who was teamed up with his wife for their task:
"I've said some really unseasonable things to both strangers and my wife. I'm not a proud man."
See...I helped the true Christmas spirit come out.
Muhahahaha.
In the end, after a lot of chuckling, trash talk, and mad dashes, we had some results.
The baking team whipped up these be-a-u-tiful chocolate muffins that were perfectly topped--courtesy of the new strawberry slicer they purchased at Williams Sonoma.
Next, we had this HILARIOUSLY-themed "8-bit" Christmas tree that featured video game-colored decorative ornaments, lime green mesh (hard to tell from the pictures), and the best topper of all...
It was actually a backpack that worked so well as a topper because the stuffed little guy had the perfect hands for holding onto the top branches of the tree.
And last but not least, we all had funny and insulting stocking stuffers that made us chuckle like this...
...and this.
I think we'll definitely do Express Christmas again.
:)
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