And because the other day I forgot to put the parking break on the empty stroller and narrowly avoided it flying backwards into the pond (and forgot to share with you people)...
And because my right inner ear itches...
And because I've finished only two of the fourteen thousand loads of laundry I need to do...
And because I'm hungry (damn dairy)...
And because my poor, precious, beautiful, beloved Chicklet won't sleep worth a flying fudge and screams bloody murder if someone's not holding her 24/7...
(Who, me???)
(Yes, you, you infuriatingly adorable infant.)
I'm gonna share a list of things you can't do (well) with a child strapped to your chest in a Bjorn.
Because these days, it's a pretty safe bet I have a child strapped to my chest in a Bjorn.
So, the can't-do (well) list):
1. Take something out of the oven. (Burn, baby, burn. Don't want no accidental roasting.)
2. Eat soup. (Drip, drip.)
3. Pull weeds. (Jostle, lean, jostle, swing. And...hernia getting back up a thousand times.)
4. Shower. (Though, believe me, someday soon, I'm gonna done do it. 'Tis only water.)
5. 10 Minute Abs (But who are we kidding? As if I ever do those. Pft.)
I know I've accumulated a larger list, but I left it somewhere with my sanity.
I hope to locate both again someday, but I'm dubiously doubtful.
(And here's where I use a hypothetical, I'm-not-even-on-Twitter-hashtag that would go something like this: #GameOfThronesIsOurRewardForSurvivingAnotherDay)
Peace out.
Oh, and please don't adjust your monitor or mobile device. The child in this image always leans in Bjorn.
Or maybe she's just drunk.
No, wait.
That's me.
Just kidding.
#IfOnlyMamaLikedWine
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