It is with regret that I am writing to inform you of our impending separation.
While I admire your headstrong nature, your independent spirit and your defiance of the norm, my beloved and impressionable toddler has not absorbed the strengths of your character, but rather, only the impulsiveness that has led to her incessant need of time outs.
For example, when you defy your mother's mandate of an arranged marriage and scream, "this is so unfair!" you are perfectly within your emotional right.
However, when my three-year-old responds in the same manner to a simple request of a diaper change, I find myself unable to calmly explain to her the very disproportionate difference.
Other unwelcome choice phrases she has learned from you:
"No, I won't!"
"Just leave me alone!"
"No, you listen!"
Additionally, she has quite accurately learned to mimic your grunts, arghs and growls of defiance/frustration.
I so wish she were old enough to understand and appreciate the positives of your fiesty nature, as well as the nuances of the character adjustments you make along your journey of self-discovery. But she isn't. And so we are through.
I have removed you from all of my electronic devices and replaced you with the far more agreeable (and resourceful and compassionate) Tinkerbell.
Your princess dress will continue to be worn by my eldest, but I hope in time, your words will fade from her verbal repoirtoire.
Many thanks for your entertainment contribution...I think.
Adios.
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