Ode To Summer 2015: Pregnancy

Ah, pregnancy.

Pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy.

Perhaps I should have written this post a few months ago if I wanted it to be all sunshine and rainbows, ha.

Instead, I find myself officially at the 37-week, full-term mark, and totally, completely and absolutely, with all of my aching bones, muscles, joints, ligaments, heart and heartburn wishing this beloved little guy would COME OUT, ALREADY! Like, NOW!

I can honestly say, I have never felt this I-need-to-give-birth-stat urgency that's so infamously portrayed in every movie, sitcom, book, etc., the world over.

With my first, I was legitimately all sunshine and rainbows and oh-I'm-not-at-all-uncomfortable, until the very end.

With my second, I was still partly sunny, perhaps with a dull rainbow, but mostly concerned about her coming of her own volition (which she did, yay!), instead of being yanked out on the scheduled cesarian date.

Now, with my third, I find myself plotting ways I can legally (or illegally) pay off my OBGYN to find a medically-substantiated reason for bumping up the cesarian prior to the 39-week mark.

For the record, I am totally aware that I will likely give birth and then go through some hormone-induced mourning stage over the fact that I will never experience the good, bad and uglies of pregnancy again. So even in my dark state of aches and pains, I am still attempting to savor what I can.

And I'm also totally aware (thank you, God for letting me maintain some shred of perspective) of the incredible blessing of three healthy pregnancies without the heartbreaking fertility struggles so many the world over must battle with.

That said (warning: do not continue if you are averse to my complaining):

My sciatic is killing me, I'm teeter-totter walking around--when I can walk at all without just dragging my limbs in a shuffle along the floor--my heartburn is a scorching blaze that requires 24-hour medication, I woke up with a charlie-horse in my calf this morning that was so severe, I've been cramped up and limping like a mummy/zombie all day long, and the pressure on my lower abdomen is so severe in the evening that if I happen to sit down after all the household chores are done, I need a crane to lift me back up.

Oh, and then there's that hilarious round of some sort of nerve issue that flared up last night, that led to shooting pain down my groin and entire right leg, along with spasms that literally buckled my knees when I tried to walk.

But don't feel sorry for me, the hubby and I laughed so hard over my sorry state just trying to get back to the master bedroom that I was probably close to peeing my pants.

So let me repeat again.

Ah, pregnancy.

Pregnancy, pregnancy, pregnancy.

SUCH a blessing. And SUCH a (literal) pain in the a** at this bitter end.

So, thank you, Summer of 2015, for giving me a third trimester worthy of remembering.

And here's hoping its final days are upon us!