DeLappenings: Indulged

Hellooooo, from the flip side of our weekend and Chicklet’s sick ick that, thankfully—fingers really really crossed!—did not circulate through the entire household.

I have loads of backlogged tidbits that I’m hoping to share this week before Valentine’s hits and mass chaos ensues, but for now, I’m just going to power on, full steam ahead with the thing that’s been on my mind today:

A confession.

Something I’ve got to get off my chest so I can move on, footloose and fancy free.

But in the process, I’m also gonna rationalize my thoughts and actions so I can feel better about myself and my life—as any fully-functioning, upstanding, wanna-feel-like-decent-human being would.

Am I right??

I’m totally right.

So here goes.

Lately, my kiddos seem to be receiving a lot of things.

Trinkets. Valentine tokens (more on that in Part 2 mañana). Projects. Games. School book fair items. Grandparent gifts. Heck—even the giveaway in the Happy Meal last week was giving me a bit of anxiety.

Are my kiddos spoiled??

Are we spoiling them??

Are we raising ungrateful, materialistic little beings??

I mean, I know there have been certain triggers of late that have made things seem a bit pronounced. And, let’s be real, we’re not all that far removed from the extravagance of the holidays.

But still.

As parents who’ve always tried to set reasonable gifting limits and hammer home gratitude and donation, I’ve learned to listen to my gut and occasionally ask the question:

What is happening to make me feel this way, and do we need to reign it all in???

Well.

After a casual joke was thrown today when I was on my way to Target with Little Man, where we were planning to look—and probably buy—LEGOs for no reason whatsoever, I had to stop and really ponder the meaning of...

Spoiled.

That scary, heinous word that no parent wants circulating near their child’s persona.

And the first place I went to begin my self-serving rationalization was the good old dictionary.

A person harmed in character by being treated too leniently or indulgently.

Well, thank heavens, hallelujah, that definition really made me feel better. Because despite the common tossing out of the word spoiled, I think the affliction that most young kiddos grapple with isn’t some permanent harming of character, as that dictionary definition might indicate, but rather some lesser degree, fleeting version of spoiled that could snowball if not checked, but—in most cases—doesn’t cause lifelong harm.

So what, exactly would I call my kiddos??

Entitled, is probably another word that might occasionally fit.

And yet. I’m proud to say (in my totally biased opinion, ha), that I would not call my children entitled. And I don’t think that extended family, teachers or friends would, either.

At each of their cores, they are beautiful, loving and gracious souls. They have their moments, but in most settings, they are able to express gratitude for their abundant life blessings, and only succumb to the less gracious, I want, I deserve, I need behavior on occasion.

So. What exactly are they?? Because I know they are something, given all the stuff they have.

Well. After some thought today, I decided that the word most fitting to me, on this particular day, in this particular parenting stage is...

Indulged.

My kiddos are most certainly indulged in the things that they love. Be it crafts or books or toys to aid in imaginative play. I will hands down be the first to admit that I indulge them in a lot of facets of their lives—and perhaps some of it is to excess, but that’s where I’m grateful my trusty gut comes in to help me stay at least a little bit in check.

Now. I’ll wrap this whole Part 1, accidentally lengthy post by sharing a prime example of this indulgence—as it relates to Little Man and our Target visit today.

So...it’s absolutely no secret that he is in love with LEGOs these days. And, honestly, I kind of dig it, because it’s a constructive and creative form of play, and something we can do together.

I mean, I’ve admitted in recent posts, that I’ve had to reach a greater acceptance of my parenting “play” strengths (mostly in comparison to Daddy), and though I might struggle with lengthy rounds of fake hand-to-hand combat, I can sit and meticulously construct a LEGO creation with him for hours. And we’ve been doing so much of that lately.

The simple fact of the matter is this: everyone wants to feel like a good parent. And, let’s be real—everyone, when given the choice, would love to feel like a good parent, whilst doing something that they actually kind of enjoy. Win/win!

So when my boy had the most adorable conversation with me this morning about various LEGO sets he’s seen lately and really would love to build, and we had nothing on the agenda for the day, and he lit up over the idea of going to the store to shop, I was totally and completely okay with it.

Because my $20 indulgence today in a new set for us to build, resulted in an entire day of beautiful interaction with him.

We went to the store. We had so much fun browsing. We treated ourselves to a tech-free breakfast out, where we colored and conversed a lot, and then we came home and spent hours of one-on-one time, during a totally gloomy and fabulous storm, grooving to some Billie Eilish awesomeness and building, building, building.

And we were both in heaven.

And it occurred to me that the indulgence word I’d been thinking about on the way to the store applied both to myself and to my kiddos.

I indulge in as many crafts as I can find, because I love them, too.

I rarely say no to a book purchase, because books are the greatest, non-human love of my life and I adore reading with my babies.

And the toys that spark creativity and play for my kiddos while also giving me an enjoyable outlet to bond with them are so much more likely to come home with us.

So...in (lengthy) summary: my kiddos have been getting a lot of odds and ends lately, and I hope with the close of Valentine’s hoopla, that will wane. But after some serious self-reflection today, I’m okay with where we stand on the indulgence “toys” that have been coming home, because life is short, they’re only young once, and maybe a little bit of splurging in the name of quality time and play is okay, when it ebbs and flows.

And now...pics of our day. :)