Okay, peeps.
This post is a love letter to my Chicklet.
My beautiful, empathic, unicorn of a child with the most incredible heart, soul and brain. My child with the smile that absolutely lights up my life, and the deep thoughts that often leave me speechless.
Today was a very special day for this girl right here, and an emotional one for this Mama!
At seven—almost eight—years old, my beloved middle-born is definitely reaching what I refer to as the Age of Awareness.
That difficult time in a young child’s life when they’re no longer oblivious to most of what goes on around them, and are beginning to assess themselves in comparison to their peers or relations. To recognize their own strengths and challenges. And to begin to allow those perceived discrepancies to impact and form their own sense of identify.
Man, is it a tough age to see coming as an adult. And one that I’d gladly hold off as long as humanly possible.
But. It’s all part of the natural aging process for any and every kiddo, and the more, as a parent, I can recognize and see it coming, the more I can mitigate any potential impact it might have on my otherwise happy-go-lucky child.
Alas…my beautiful ball-of-sunshine-and-sparkle-dust girl had a particularly low last week, feeling quite down on herself regarding her school work, and just the perception that she wasn’t a good enough student or wasn’t ever going to mirror the level of her peers.
It really gutted me to see her swimming in that yucky muck of low confidence.
And on the worst evening of a handful of tough days, as I was putting her to bed and she was crying, and letting all of her insecurities out her eyeballs, she started to unload.
She said to me: “Mrs. So-And-So (her teacher) says I have grit, but I just don’t think I do.”
Of course, my poor girl said this amidst tears, which made it even more painful in the moment, but I said to her: “She does tell you that.” And I snuggled her a little harder and asked, “Do you know what it means when she says that? Do you know what she means by grit?”
And my girl full of heartache replied: “It’s something deep down in my heart.” And I told her that she was absolutely right and that it was deep down in her heart—to which she said (amidst sniffles, with her voice cracking, mind you):
“I think it’s too deep. I can’t reach it.”
And as soon as I really processed the very heavy and deep thought she was conveying, I just…lost it.
Mama tears flowing, big time.
And it was all I could do to snuggle her and love on her, and assure her that she was God’s perfection EXACTLY as she was, and that there would be good days and bad, and that she was an amazing child with so many beautiful and precious qualities. And I promised her that the next day would be a fresh, new day, and that it would be better. Without a doubt.
We kept up the love fest throughout the rest of the week and weekend. I had calls with her incredible teachers—who were just heartbroken to hear that Chicklet had been so low (and one had separately reached out to check on her, after noticing that she was uncharacteristically somber one day). And by the time Monday rolled around, my girl was in SUCH better spirits.
We’d given her all the love and cuddles—and sleep!—and family time and positive reinforcement she needed in order to reboot her system, and was back to her wonderful, positive self.
One of her awesomesauce teachers even confirmed by email that “our bright little unicorn was certainly herself today”—decked out in head-to-toe, mismatched rainbows and sequins, no less.
Fast forward to TODAY.
Oh my heavens…today.
When the hubby and I got to join a school-wide assembly that occurs once a nine weeks, during which, they recognize students for an amazing award. Those who exemplify outstanding character and leadership.
The award is voted on by students, with the final discretion going to the teachers in each class, and our Chica, BLESS HER, has won the award not once but twice in the past.
And Chicklet—our unique, caring, vibrant, family-loving, Chicklet has stood by EVERY TIME as her sister’s biggest and loudest cheerleader when Chica’s name was called, and only privately, in her doubtful moments, would ever ask me if she, herself, was the type of student to ever get an award.
So today, my incredible girl—who tries so hard to make the headway that often comes naturally to other students—got to feel the love and recognition. And I was, quite literally, bursting with pride and happiness for her.
It was a total surprise to her that she was receiving the award. And, of course, I cried. Her teachers cried, and that smile of hers in the picture at the start of this post just says it all.
I know this will go a long way to boosting her confidence (and bless her teachers a million times over, as they provide the most rock-solid and personally-invested educational support a parent could ever ask for).
Lastly…I had to have a major talk with God a few days ago, when I was notified that Chica would also be receiving the award today (for the THIRD year in a row, when many kiddos are never recognized during the entirety of their elementary school tenure). I said a lot of four letter words, I contemplated asking Chica’s teacher to withhold the award, or delay it. And I even shed some tears over my intense desire to make this one day all about Chicklet.
But in the end, I had to recognize God’s master plan in this, and his hand and will in the stacked timing of it all. And I had to recognize that it wasn’t fair or right to wish away and hefty honor for Chica—regardless of whether or not she’s been recognized in the past.
I had to focus on my girlies’ deep love for one another, and their constant support and happiness for one another, and the fact that it was amazing, incredible…pretty unbelievable, even, that not one, but two of my babies were being honored during the same time period. And eventually, I was able to overcome the urge to hoard this day just for Chicklet.
And what a special thing, in the end, to see them celebrate and take joy in one another’s success.
I’m so, dang proud of these crazies, I just don’t have enough words to express how it feels to see them getting this major boost.
AND…I definitely had my work cut out for me, utilizing this as a humbling moment for my Little Man, ha.
He, himself is a rockstar student, so accelerated in math and reading, and with an aptitude for surrounding himself with really solid friends who are also attentive students and playful buddies.
But as with Chicklet, it’s an important lesson to learn that there are moments to celebrate OTHERS, and then there are moments to shine in your own right. Or maybe there aren’t. But as long as you work hard to be a kind human and put forth the best effort possible, that’s all that ever important.
And I made sure to make our after-school celebrations inclusive of ALL THREE of my incredible crazies. We marked the halfway point of the school year (impossible to believe) with some Tar-jay fun and happy, silly time together. And I just tried to let them all know how very loved and precious they are.
At the end of the day, like most parents, we just want happy, healthy kiddos with the strength of character to weather any of the tough days or life phases that come their way. And the joy to celebrate the good times and amazing achievements.
And I’d say we’re well on our way to seeing these babies grown into the amazing humans they are already showing signs of being. :)
P.S. Last pic, and perhaps one of my favorites from the whole day. As part of the assembly today, some high school football players and cheerleaders came to perform. And since one of the football players is the son of Chicklet’s teacher, they made a special visit to Chicklet’s class, and this shot is just PRICELESS. They’re making the snake sign of the school mascot, and I die.
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