Our Summer Behavior Charts

Okay, peeps.

Let’s talk about…behavior!

An excellent summer topic, as it relates to kiddos, yes??

More specifically, let’s talk about the Behavior Charts we made for the summer, and the whole background behind them.

So.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that most people only post or share via social media—or in person with friends—any kind of parenting wins or positive things that happen in their lives. And I’m no exception.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m much more likely to post about any nugget of good in our day—in part, to remind myself to see the positive, even when things have been rough, and in part, because few people (of the handful that even read this here blog, ha) want to suffer through a post about parental whining, amiright? 

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT’S ALL SUNSHINE AND ROSES AROUND OUR CASA.

Let me repeat: despite all the fun and creative and milestone-worthy, and waxing poetic about how much I love my kids that you might read on this here blog, on any given day, there are mannnnnnnny moments when I want to scream into a pillow or pull large chunks out of my hair.

Don’t let social media fool you! We ALL face parenting challenges.

In fact, I’d dare to say—and the hubby has concurred, here—that from Spring 2022 to Spring of 2023, we might have hit our roughest patch in terms of collective kiddo behavior. Like, EVER.

With a bit of hindsight to analyze this stretch of time, I think part of the poor behavior was due to Little Man entering elementary school—and all the influential/behavior challenges that came along with it—combined with Chicklet having one of her toughest academic years (2nd grade, for her), and just all three kiddos aging and changing enough that some of our typical parenting go-to punishments just weren’t working anymore.

UGH.

I prayed so often to just see any glimmer that allllll the hard parenting work we were putting in was worth it, in any way. And God occasionally granted me a nugget to keep me from despair: a compliment from a friend, just a brief (then fading) kind moment between warring siblings, and (most amazing of all) character awards form school.

I NEEDED THOSE SIGNS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.

As all parents do.

Because it would have been so easy to let bad behavioral moments pass me by because I was too tired to address them, but we all know that’s not the way to fix anything. And fixing anything takes time and patience and consistency and discipline and frustration and worry and angst. And…oye, the struggle of all parents, everywhere! We need all the encouragement we can get!

Now.

Coming out of that very challenging parenting stretch, there were two interesting side effects:

1) The hubby and I got really tired of having to harp on the kiddos all the time. It was like a lather, rinse, repeat of the worst parts of parenting. :(

2) The kiddos started to talk about being “bad kids,” which is not at all what we ever wanted them to take away from the teachable moments we were living through.

We have a firm belief in our household that there are no bad kids; just bad choices. And all we ever try to do as parents to our three kiddos is to make them the best versions of themselves they can be. If they can grow up to be kind and happy, that’s all we could ever hope for.

So. 

We decided to flip the whole discipline thing on its head a bit. Instead of getting on to the kiddos so much for any negative behavior is situations, we decided to start really praising the positive. 

And lo and behold, the kiddos—particularly Little Man—started to respond to this parenting change. 

Who knows if it was about the obnoxious praising when they did something good, just some good old fashioned time helping to improve things, or just any sort of change helping to change the vibe within the household, but…it was helpful!

Fast forward a few months, give or take, and we spent some time thinking about ways to keep the positive momentum going.

Enter…Behavior Charts!

Complete with a fun gem sticker system and rewards. 

Woohoo!

Shocker (major, I know): we turned it into a really fun craft project. I bought tri-fold foam boards from Tar-jay, and spent some time drawing grid lines and various sections for the kiddos to fill in.

We basically identified three key behavioral areas for each kiddo to focus on, and wrote them on the boards. Then I let the kiddos decorate as much and as crazy as they wanted—and then let them write in their own chosen rewards related to each behavioral area. 





It was hysterical to see how much they enjoyed making these darn things. Particularly the younger two.



And it was also pretty hysterical to see some of the “rewards” they chose for themselves. Like…Chick-fil-A biscuit breakfast, or popcorn and Icees at Target, or a play date with friends. All perfectly doable and motivating!



Then I snagged these sun rainbow-colored gems for the kiddos to put on their board each time they earned one.

I suppose it’s important to note that this chart system is perhaps a little juvenile for Chica, and we knew that going in.

She exhibits pretty strong and stable behavior at this stage in the game, so we tried to tweak her specific goals to her particular life stage. Like being kinder to herself when she has a tough time making decisions. Bigger, more self-esteem enriching challenges for her rather than, say, listening, or being kind to siblings.

Hence the whole tailoring of each chart for each kiddo

Anywho…the crafting of the charts went on for a few days as they each embellished theirs more and more…







And then, when school ended, we officially launched the system. Woohoo!

Now in our fourth week (gahh, where is summer going??), I’m happy to report that these charts are really helping us at this point in time.

The kiddos get so excited to earn gems, and they certainly keep track of how their siblings are doing, too. Ha.







Little Man just earned enough gems for his first chosen reward the other night…



Which was…temporary tattoos (I told you it was adorable to see what they came up with).





He even shared with Chicklet (a gem-worthy occurrence; but more on that in a later post).





He was so stinking proud to wear his rewards on his arms for swim lessons tonight. And the irony: they were giving out temporary tattoos at swim lessons, too! What are the chances???



So, in summary…

We all (and I mean, ALL) have room for improvement in our lives. And even though I’d like to think I’m raising solid children, they definitely have things to keep working on, and those areas that need improvement always seem to be amplified during the summer when we spend soooooo much time together.

But this positive and silly rewards system has given us an easy, trackable visual to keep us moving toward the best behavior possible in our household.

Some days we fail, but some days, I really think it might be helping (particularly this week; but again, more on that later).

So here’s to ANY parenting/discipline hack that might help us survive summer.

And here’s to a special Starbucks run tomorrow, since the girls have racked up a decent number of gems, too.

Happy Wednesday, peeps!

More mañana.

Over and out.