Let’s talk about the trauma we sustained this weekend.
(I kid. But also…not.)
The long and short: this past weekend, Chica attended a mandatory Confirmation retreat FOR THE ENTIRE WEEKEND.
She loaded a bus at church less than an hour after school let out on Friday, and returned to us early Sunday afternoon—alive, but quite shell-shocked, if I’m being perfectly honest.
(And I don’t think she’d mind me saying that, because it’s TRUE, and she pretty much said so, herself.)
Oye.
Now…to rewind for a bit of context.
I posted a few weeks ago about Chica’s Confirmation launch. It was a bit of a last-minute decision to kick it off this year, but the right thing, in terms of the overwhelming number of kiddos at our church who participate in 6th grade.
But I’m not gonna lie, it’s a pretty involved program:
Two hour sessions every other Wednesday evening.
Mandatory Sunday school every Sunday.
Mandatory memory verses each week.
Mandatory sermon notes (only six of them, at least).
And…this MANDATORY retreat. Oye!
Now. Before I proceed, I must state for the record that I’m a person of faith, and Confirmation meant a lot to me when I was growing up. So at my core, I’m not opposed to a solid amount of effort.
I mean, it’s a big deal!
Maybe THE BIGGEST deal of all, in terms of a child growing into their faith and making a personal commitment as they come to recognize what they believe.
However.
There’s a big difference between faith and church—kind of like the difference between a wedding and a marriage—and I want my girl to get the MARRIAGE out of this whole shebang…if that makes sense, ha.
As a young 6th grader (Chica has a late summer bday, so she’s always very young for her grade), who is extremely home-loving and close to her familia, not to mention, a bit reserved in new situations/surroundings…all of this has been quite a bit for my girl to process.
But she’s been a stoic CHAMP throughout the early weeks of the process, and I’ve just been praying, hard, that she’ll find joy and connectivity so that it all means something to her, and doesn’t just feel like another To Do list.
All. That. Said. Gearing herself up for Sunday School or a Wednesday night session is much different than gearing up for a weekend away, amongst relative strangers, in a completely unfamiliar environment, without cell phones (a requirement), two hours away from home.
As a side note: I say all this as a parent who has both hosted and sent my girl to sleepovers. It’s not like we’re insanely conservative; we just try to set our kiddos up for success and completely unknown and uncomfortable environments are not a recipe for that!
Now, I don’t want to invade Chica’s privacy by going into the nitty gritty details, but my beloved eldest had a really tough time in the day leading up to her departure, and there were tears. Enough to amplify my existing anxiety about the whole situation. Enough to amplify the hubby’s anxiety about the whole situation, and he’s typically the cooler cucumber amongst us!
It was tough.
For sure one of those really complicated situations where you’re just not sure of the right move, and you just have to do your best to reduce stress and anxiety for all involved—and hope against all hope that you’re not giving your child a major item to discuss with their future therapist as an adult, ha.
Thank. Stinking. Heavens. For one Mama friend I know, who was able to send me a couple photos throughout the weekend. These couple of pics were so comforting.
And, look! Some tubing/swimming adventures were had!
As expected, both the hubby and I were a bit on edge throughout the weekend, counting down the hours until our girl came home. And, boy, did Chica need a bit of time to reacclimatize upon her arrival. She was mostly non-communicative, exhausted beyond belief, and in her own words: “overstimulated.”
We took time to give her a family meal at one of her favorite restaurants, followed by a whole heaping pile of dessert, and then it was home to shower and snuggle and let her gradually return to herself, which she eventually did.
Once she was in a solid place, we were able to discuss the whole weekend in greater detail, and she shared what I already suspected: the net gain of attending was just barely worth the anxiety it cost.
She was so glad to have bonded with the other girls in her group, and of course, the whole thing was an adventure, but…yeah. Definitely a giant leap forward that my girl would never have chosen if it hadn’t been mandatory.
As parents, it’s SO incredibly hard to know if you’re doing the right thing on behalf of your child. There are no manuals. Every household and parent and kiddo is different. And there a gazillion other variables at play on any given day.
But. I guess that’s all part of this journey of aging and facing different challenges—both for us, as parents, and them, as children.
It was really fitting for my girl to get a big kick out of her fortune cookie at the end of our meal…
Bottom line to wrap up this rambling post: MAN OH MAN are we ALL glad this weekend and milestone is behind us! I know there will be positive things to come of it, but…we’re going to put it in the rear view and kind of keep it there, ha.
More mañana on other life things.
Until then…happy Monday, peeps!
Over and out.
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