Warning: post contains major overshare. Proceed with caution. And humorous pity.
Taking three cranky, sleep-disrupted kids under the age of four on the Monday after Daylight Savings...to your yearly gynecologist exam. At nap time.
Yup.
It happened.
I done did it.
And now, let's all take a moment to imagine the worst possible experience during said visit. And then make it a little bit worse. Liiiiitle bit worse, still. And now, you've got it about right.
Little Man screamed bloody murder the.entire.time.
Chicklet tried to stick things in multiple uncovered electrical outlets, and then rattled the left stirrup so hard (while my foot was in it) that my dear doc had to take an extra few moments to steady for the pap smear swab--and I didn't help matters any by laughing so hard I was shaking (so I wouldn't cry or scream, naturally).
And Chica had a meltdown before we even walked in, because the waiting room potty flushed too loud and I wouldn't let her sit on her favorite bench near the elevator (didn't want to be late for the "fun"), and thus continued to be unhelpful with her screaming brother.
But, hey--at least I had anxious, under-boob sweat aplenty for my breast exam.
And my doc had the joy of repeating three times--each one a bit louder over the chaos--her age recommendation for my first colonoscopy, given my family history.
Oh--and we also left with "prizes." Balloons blown up from latex gloves by the nurse who was pulling out all the stops to help.
And, of course, a lollipop for Chicklet, who collapsed in front of reception and wouldn't get up to leave until she got one.
IF THIS ISN'T LIFE WITH PRESCHOOLERS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
This is Little Man's, I'm so over it face.
I hear ya, big guy. I hear ya.
But, hey--at least I wore them all out post-nap with a suuuuper long walk.
She's looking at the moon here:
And I managed to remember little guy's pics.
But Daddy says I can't pull his socks up like that. Too nerdy. Haha.
But I think he likes his socks ;)
Peace out.
Oh--and sorry for typing pap smear.
And under-boob.
And stirrup.
And swab.
Over and out.
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