Chicklet Sleep Trauma-Drama

Okay, peeps.

Tonight, because I finally hung Little Man's newborn portrait and therefore feel a sense of accomplishment (despite buying the frame and mat in March), and because I really really really hope we might have hit the low point and started working our way up...

I'm ready to spill the goods on the majorly dramatic (and quite sudden) sleep disruption that has rocked both our house and my world.

So...remember less than a month ago when I posted my ode to Chicklet and included this very braggadocious bit about her rockstar sleep habits??? 

Well, I coulda woulda shoulda kept my big mouth shut!

I suppose we had our first freak nap time incident a few weeks ago when we were running way late, so I only took time to sing Chicklet a song, and not also read a book, which is the routine. Book + song + sips of water = happy, no-fuss transfer to crib.

That day, she went nuts. Screaming, crying. And it was so unusual, I hauled her right out and we went together to Chica's room to play for a few minutes and read another book. And then we returned to her own room and I started over.

Book + song + sips of water = happy, no-fuss transfer to crib.

It was like the nuts had never happened. It was the strangest thing. She went down easy breezy, and I thought: huh, okaaaay, don't mess with her routine.

This Tuesday

Fast forward a few weeks and the freak-out happened again. But re-setting things did not help.

So I took pity on my girl, and snuggled her, and she eventually fell asleep in my arms--which was a unicorn event that I totally and admittedly soaked up (despite the mild concern that began brewing in my brain).

This Wednesday

The next day, the same nuts, screaming, crying happened again--with the addition of one catastrophic event that has never happened in our household.

She climbed out of her crib.

Now, I'm sure you're reading this thinking: how has that never happened to you; oodles of toddlers crawl out?

But mine haven't. Ever. 

Partly because I've always nipped that action right in the bud, anytime I've even seen a twinkle of a gleam in their eyes, associated with a leg hike.

But more importantly, they've never been climbers because they've always been quite content in their cribs as a safe space.

So when I left Chicklet in her room, throwing a tantrum in her crib, the climbing wasn't a thought in my mind. And when she stopped the tantrum a few minutes later (when I was making the rounds getting Little Man down), I assumed she'd come to her senses.

So color me shocked, shaken, stupid and royally screwed-and-cursing-like-a-sailor when I checked her monitor a few minutes later and found this:

Sure, sure, I know it's adorable. But it also sent me into a furious, raging tizzy.

I left her there because--no brainer--she was asleep. But when she woke after a couple sleep cycles and immediately started crying and running out of her room, I knew this was snowballing. And fast.

So...that afternoon, I strapped on my big girl panties and decided I might try working with her instead of against her. She's been super-content to play in Chica's big girl bed lately, so I thought it might be time to get our converting on.

You know, the whole--give 'em some freedom to make them feel some semblance of control, trick.

One side off...

Rail on...

The girlies had a blast test-driving both ends for prime comfort...

And, sure--the room and the kiddos looked adorable...

And Chicklet showed off to Daddy...

But bed time that night was an epic disaster that lasted for hours and involved tantrums and making haste for the door any time I tried to leave her and tears and exhaustion (for her and me). In the end, she exhausted herself enough that when I sat beside her, she eventually slept and I snuck out.

But the following morning, she woke way too early (when she heard Daddy leave), shot out of her bed crying, racing for the landing.

So...a few hours later, the crib was re-assembled...

Now, fast-forward to that day at nap time and what will forever be one of the hardest parenting episodes I will ever have.

For whatever reason, I felt going into it that it was going to be major. So I warned Chica there would be crying, and shut her in her room for her nap time/quiet time, and I got Little Man down before Chicklet and I squared off.

By the grace of God--perhaps because he knew what I would be facing--they both slept through the ordeal that followed. Though I have no idea how.

Because Chicklet and I went rounds and rounds. I started with the normal routine and a quiet but serious talk about how things were gonna go.

And then the tantrum began and she climbed out of her crib immediately. And repeatedly.

We battled and battled--my poor, beloved girl crying, pleading, climbing, screaming. Out she'd climb. Back in I'd haul her. Over and over and over.

I talked kindly, I talked sternly, I reasoned, I yelled no; don't. And the whole while, I told her I loved her, she was a good girl, but she had to stay in her crib. I wiped her snot, I smoothed her sweaty hair back from her head. I blocked her from climbing, I hauled her back in when she did it anyway. And only once did I take her in my arms in the rocker for a brief reprieve, but otherwise, we went round after round after round.

I didn't give up--for whatever reason, sensing this was a major stand I had to take. But it was truly one of the hardest two-hour periods of my parenting life.

And it ended when I finally backed away from her crib enough to sit on the floor by her doorway, and my poor, exhausted-beyond-all-belief girl fell asleep. Standing up.

I couldn't believe what was happening when I watched her eyes close...

And I just sat in her doorway sobbing as quietly as I could over the fact that she had quite literally cried her tiny body out. It was just one of the most terrible feelings I've ever had as a parent.

Eventually, she sort of sagged into the corner and I couldn't take it. 

So I went to her, forced her to lay down--to which she protested again, weakly, but eventually gave in. And she slept for a short while.

I was so completely raw when she woke and, of course, expected her to be, as well. But instead, she was quiet normal--if exhausted--and actually quite clingy and loving toward me, as my children have always tended to be when I have to strongly discipline them.

That night was far from dramatic, as she was so tired she couldn't fight sleep very long. I rocked her to sleep in my arms. She woke when I transferred her, but calmed a bit when I again sat in her doorway, and was soon out for good.

This Friday (Yesterday)

Though I think The Nap Time Stand (as we'll now call it) helped to keep the climbing situation from further escalating, I decided to try one further proactive step.

As a safety measure (one that came as a brilliant suggestion from a dance-class mom)--not knowing how this will play out long-term--I decided to purchase a gate for Chicklet's doorway.

That way, should we have further tantrum/climbing episodes, at least I don't have to fear her wandering all over the house and getting hurt or wreaking havoc.

I'm really happy with the look of it, and it was easy to install (and extra tall, to prevent further climbing).

And more importantly, I think the gate has helped in a strange way. It's allowed me to leave Chicklet's bedroom door open but the gate closed, which keeps her slightly calmer. Perhaps it helps not feeling so closed off??

So...we've now had two naps and two bed times that have been progressively less dramatic. Some crying but no tantrums. Less each time. And no climbing.

I have NO idea what brought this all on--other than just the normal developmental/toddler stage challenges--and heaven only knows how much better or worse it will get.

But I'm hoping beyond hope we nipped this in the bud. Because I love my Chicklet so much it hurts, and for both our sakes, I don't want to have any further epic showdowns.

So this is me (and you, if you're still with me), purging all the rawness that has made this hands-down one of the hardest parenting weeks I've faced. 

And this is also me, hoping beyond hope that my girl can have only peaceful and safe sleepy times in her future.

Nighty night, peeps.

Next time I post, it will be decidedly more light-hearted, I swear ;)