I try to be a glass half full kinda gal, and I do believe in the power of positive thinking, but...I also try to keep it real on this here blog, so things don’t appear to be all sunshine and rainbow all the time.
So in the spirit of honesty, I’ll just say that today wasn’t great. :(
Honestly, the kiddos were pretty okay, no major behavioral problems to report. It was really my own attitude that brought me down.
And I’ve isolated three major, contributing factors:
1. Oil
When your husband has spent his nearly two-decade career in the oil and gas industry (and several family members earn their incomes within the industry, as well), headlines like the one above are quite scary.
Though, truthfully, I’ve been watching this play out for weeks and weeks now with a sinking feeling in my gut and no real way to alleviate it beyond a wait-and-see approach.
Keeping things in perspective: this situation is no different from so many others facing uncertainty in life and health and income, but that doesn’t diminish the very real fear and anxiety—or change the fact that it will likely hang around for months and months.
The ripple effects will be substantial.
And on some days, that’s a hard thing to process without letting it get you down.
On a personal note, our little family had a pretty challenging 2019–though with some separation of time and the corresponding angst, I’ve been able to put it all into perspective and count our blessings upon blessings—so I’m a bit fearful, personally, of this tough 2020 and what it might take to mentally truck through it, while maintaining a positive outlook.
One day, one worry at a time, yes?
2. The Return To A New Normal
The second item that is causing me a bit of unease today is the growing focus on the return to “normal.”
And more specifically, the fact that the new normal and that pace of new normal will be different for everyone.
Honestly, there’s been a bit of comfort for me in being in the weeds of following strict stay-at-home orders and knowing everyone was in the same boat.
But already, so many people are easing their own personal restrictions and dipping their toes in the social waters (whether it’s advisable or not) and it makes me a bit anxious to know that my own comfort level with re-emergence won’t necessarily be the same as my neighbor’s.
Moreover...how will life look when I’m no longer mandated to be at home, but we’re still distance learning and technically in the midst of school days and not summer days?
Again, it will look different for everyone, but the lack of uniformity puts greater pressure on the individual, and I’m a bit anxious about what this next phase of trying to move on and re-settle—again—will look like.
3. Food & Dietary Issues
So...this one is a long story, and one that I won’t expand upon in detail right now.
Tonight, the only important bits are this:
My hubby has dealt with stomach/digestive/acid/inflammatory issues for years and years, and we’ve recently made the move to deal professionally with a functional nutritionist (as traditional doctors have not led us to helpful answers) to try and get him to a better place health and food-wise.
And I love who we’re working with, and a lot of what we’ve discussed makes a lot of anecdotal sense and feels like it will help in the long run.
But in the short run, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t difficult to cook for a family of five, with three young, picky children, and a husband with major dietary sensitivities (including gluten and dairy), and not want to cry about having to restrict more and more and more of what we cook and eat as a household.
There’s no easy answer that doesn’t involve cooking separate meals and just allowing time to ease the pain of having to cut out certain foods altogether, but today was a bummer day on that front, and I was already bummed to begin with.
It’s a lot of work.
So...there you have it.
My major points of crankiness and anxiety and feelings of UGH that led to a not-great Monday.
But...we’ll begin again tomorrow, and hope for something better. And for now, I’ll leave you with these perspective pictures of what we were doing two years ago this week (I actually remember it like it was yesterday):
Getting Chica’s ears pierced. :)
Stay healthy, stay sane peeps.
One day at a time.
Over and out.
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