Triple Threat & Triple the Stress!

Okay, peeps.

Yesterday, Chica received a major award at school, and we had the JOY of attending the ceremony in honor of her academic achievement and character (alongside other kiddos being recognized).

No surprise: it really struck me in the feels how much our beloved eldest has grown from the uncertain and doe-eyed 6th grader arriving for this very same ceremony with nerves so intense, she looked like she was about to pass out!

6th grade:

https://delappenings.blogspot.com/2023/12/shine-chica-shine.html

7th grade:

https://delappenings.blogspot.com/2024/10/chicas-character-award.html

And now...here she is! A triple threat, three-peat, all-'round beautiful soul with less nerves--at least, for this specific event!

Which brings me to the point of this particular write-up...

Believe it or not, this post is not about Chica's incredible academic work ethic and kind and courteous soul.

It's about ANXIETY.

And STRESS.

And the mounting of both that is accompanying Chica's impending transition to High School.

And how this heavy burden hurts my soul when I see it weighing down a child as incredible as Chica.

I think I might be able to put this conversation into perspective by sharing that...

I gifted Chica a pair of earrings when she received the award in 6th grade.

And I'm pretty I gifted her another piece of jewelry when she received the award in 7th grade.

But now, in 8th grade, as Chica is closing in on an entire middle school career of stellar performance, behavior and participation, I gifted her...

A handful of mental health/ self help/ self-esteem-boosting items, and--dare I say?--the items were appreciated even more than the jewelry?!

I mean...what does that say about the state of things and the pressure that kids these days have to endure??!

To back up a bit...I don't think Chica would mind me sharing that this year has been particularly difficult for her, mental health-wise.

Specifically, she's been challenged by three things:

1. Chica's closest and also very high-achieving (all around amazing!) best friend is in EVERY, single class with her, resulting in some unintended, accidental (and certainly not expected!) comparison vibes for both girlies.

2. A respected, Honors-level teacher who is wonderful, but quite the antithesis to Chica's personality and preferred teaching style, resulting in an accidental destruction of self-confidence in this singular subject matter.

3. An intense level of homework, every single night, leading to very little free time or mental health breathers.

Put those three things together, and...BOOM.

Conditions are ripe for: down days, crises of confidence, fear over how much worse the school/life balance is going to get, and...so. many. other. things.

Now. I feel like I need to pause here and state the obvious:

MY KID IS INCREDIBLE.

She has such a kind soul and sweet disposition, has a solid group of friends, is not on social media, has a generally positive outlook on life, has supportive parents and basically...everything in the world going for her...AND YET.

If she is struggling with consistently poor self-esteem, anxiety, overwhelm and wary feelings about the academic mountain ahead of her...what child in the world can possibly make it through these days without feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders?!?

I'm sure it might sound cliche or trite to wax poetic about how much easier things seemed "back in the day" or to get on my high horse and declare that kids are under too much pressure, but the crux of the matter is so much more complicated than that.

Take, for example, the fact that Chica has been deep in the weeds of four-year High School Graduation planning this month, alongside all the other 8th graders.

The kiddos have been prompted to...

Select a High School "endorsement" path (think of this like a mini college major, for the love of all that is holy)...

They've sat through Zoom calls about Honors classes and AP classes, and Dual Enrollment and Career Certificates...

They've learned about the mathematical ranking system of all students and how it will be reflected on their diploma and impact college admissions...

They've been exposed to the fact that they'll be taking their first PSAT test this freaking Fall...

And have been told of their standardized, STAAR-testing requirements for graduation, and...

OH. MY. FREAKING. GOODNESS.

I'm a fully-fledged adult, with a Graduate Level education, and this stuff has me wanting to crawl into the fetal position. Let alone a 13-year-old?! I mean, I spent two hours last night, building a color-coded spreadsheet for my girl, just to help us sort this all out!

In general, what I'm saying is this: I think it says a lot that my primary focus this year, with my 13-year-old, 8th grader has been mental health and holding it together as best as I possibly can.

So. With that said.

What's a parent to do???

How can one help in this kind of situation when your child is overwhelmed, there is no reprieve in sight (at least until Summer, and even then, Chica has legitimately inquired about Summer School)?

I basically want to metaphorically fling her entire backpack and everything it represents off the nearest cliff and allow her to BREATHE, but I don't know how.

I suppose it's worth mentioning, here, that my girl is very hard on herself. She knows this. We've talked about this. So perhaps I need to allow for the possibility that a portion of all this stress might just skim right over the heads of many other kiddos her age?

And yet...I don't really think so. 

When I speak to any parent I know, who has a child of Chica's age, the general consensus is that they're all feeling this way. Very overwhelmed. Very wary. And very much in need of a better school/life balance.

I suppose, in a way, this is a post without a bright, shiny, wrapped-in-a-bow ending to say that I've figured it all out.

Because I most certainly haven't.

But, what I do know is that my kid is a good human, right down to her core. So I'm going to continue to do everything I possibly can to...

FIND those pockets of free time...

To PROTECT the light and free moments we're able to hoard...

To SPARK any tiny bit of joy, each and every day...

And to LISTEN and COUNSEL and SUPPORT her in any way I possibly can--even if it means being an obnoxious, broken-record stage mom, listing off her achievements and accolades just to remind her of how amazing she is.

I pray every night that we can help Chica through this tricky transitional stage. I suspect by the time Little Man hits this milestone, it will feel like no biggie and I'll wonder why Chica (and the hubby and I) were ever even stressed. I suppose that's the downside of being the eldest: you're the guinea pig!

And, yet...a large part of me knows that the challenges will still exist with each child and each age and stage; they just might be a little more nuanced or tailored to that particular child's personality.

In the meantime...God grant me strength.

And joy.

And patience.

And an abundance of love to shine upon my children when they need it most.

We're going to keep celebrating these incredible milestones and achievements to help us through the tougher days, and I know there will be smoother sailing ahead!

Happy Almost-Friday, peeps!

More catch-up posts coming!

Over and out.