2021, it’s soooooo nice to see you, and I gotta say, the view is mighty fine.
We launched into the second half of the school year yesterday with nothin’ but positive vibes.
The kiddos were happy to return, it was an early-dismissal day (due to a teacher enrichment afternoon), and it was a glorious 75-degree, blue-sky day.
Perfect for more than a solid hour spent up at the playground after pick-up, soaking in some Vitamin D and quality time with my crazies.
Couldn't ask for a better re-entry to routine.
And now, today, with Little Man at school, I finally have a moment to sit and type up a handful of hopes for this new year of ours.
But first...
A Look Back
Without a doubt, 2019 was a trying year for us, personally.
A very tough move, two criminal contractors—one of whom stole a great deal of money— during a nightmare renovation process, a totaled car, several waves of family strep throat, LICE (oh, the horrors!), and a round of croup that landed Little Man in the hospital.
And those are just the majors, ha.
I could hit a dozen smaller low points of household leaks, holes in ceilings, stolen pool equipment and on and on and on.
Not the best.
And yet.
So many beautiful things came of that year, as well.
Family swim time (in our own backyard!), one of the most amazing trips to Hotlanta with an unforgettable bonus few days in Lake Oconee, an unforgettable, spur-of-the-moment Colorado Springs/Fall Break trip, the discovery of a new church we immediately connected with, the launch of some Harry Potter love, a fairly seamless transition for Chica at a new school, and then Chicklet diving headfirst into kindergarten, and...the strength and growth (blah, blah, blah) that comes from personal challenges.
So, yeah.
2019 was something.
And then, 2020 happened.
Oye.
Oddly enough, in a very strange—and admittedly selfish—way, it was a bit comforting to feel like we were part of a shared, global experience of anxiety and grief and anger and uncertainty.
Because it’s one thing to feel isolated as you’re traversing a very challenging year of your life, but quite another to feel connected through experience to everyone, the world over, who is in the same boat.
Even when that boat feels a bit like the Titanic.
And the other very important thing to acknowledge is that our silver linings in 2020 were also plentiful. Just like 2019.
We emerged healthy, with (most of) our sanity intact, with a steady job, stable kiddos, and more family time than we could have ever imagined possible.
I mean...a San Diego trip before the pandemic, doodles during lockdown (and now, forevermore), bike rides out the wazoo, a new baby cousin, a lovely summer visit in Tulsa with grandparents, a successful round of virtual schooling before an equally successful return to in-person learning.
I mean...we were blessed, undoubtedly.
A million times over.
And perhaps that’s why I can remain so hopeful for the future.
There is light at the end of any tunnel—even a pandemic one—and I think the world is eager to see more of it as the months progress.
In conclusion (at least for this little Look Back section), I’d love to share a quote that our pastor referenced in this week’s sermon as part of a series just launched for January that’s all about refreshing the spirit (a wildly apt topic for the moment, yes?).
It’s from author and theologian C.S. Lewis, and I’ve now heard it twice, and each time, it resonates greatly:
“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
If ever there was a message that ultimately brings hope, it’s that pain is transformative.
It is full of purpose.
It is the path through which we might reach a more beautiful means or end.
And that, my peeps, is what I’ll hold on to in this New Year.
And now...some personal hopes or aspirations for this 2021 of ours!
Older Bro Time
I’m going to weave some light in with some heavy, here, and start with a fun one. I want to see my older bro in the flesh in 2021!
It’s already been more than a year since I’ve seen him (Thanksgiving 2019), and by the time summer rolls around, which is the earliest likelihood of any kind of visit, it will have been three years since we visited the Uncles in Wisconsin for one of the most glorious little family trips.
I mean, the above is one of my fave pics of all time of my babies.
But Little Man was two years old! TWO. Still in diapers and using a paci. Oye.
I hope, I hope, I hope, we can make a return trip and capture more memories like the one below of my Chicklet. I die.
Happy Tummies—For All
Now. This one is my hands-down greatest hope for the New Year:
I want my hubby to heal his gut and bring joy and ease back to his eating.
I haven’t shared a detailed post in quite some time, but basically, we’re about nine months into his gut-rebuilding process, and we’re still seeking real solutions.
Since I don’t want to get bogged down in the details of all we have done and what has/hasn’t helped, I just want to hold onto the very strong belief that nothing we have tried had been in vain.
All the doctors, all the food eliminated, all the tests and medicines and supplements...all of it is working toward the eventual goal of ruling out anything extraneous and getting to the root cause of his issues.
I have to believe that.
And I want it so badly for him this year.
On the plus side...because we have to eat so, dang clean and healthy within our household, I don’t have any food-related aspirations this year. We’re already there. Even the kiddos have made huge strides of tolerating more foods and the veggies we force them to eat.
So...we’ll just keep trekking on, I suppose. Staying active in our daily lives and putting good things in our bodies.
Learning Mania
One major silver lining of 2020 was being so up close and personal with my babies’ education. Something I don’t think I’ll ever take for granted again.
In 2021, I want Little Man to launch into kindergarten with an abundance of enthusiasm and energy. He’s soooo ready.
I want my Chicklet to hold onto the contagious joy she receives from her interactions with her classmates, and for her to become a prolific reader.
And I want my Chica to avoid the self-consciousness that will likely start to set in within the next year or two, and to continue to be a champ in reading, math and science.
Family Adventuring
The dawn of January always brings with it the analysis of schedules and budgets and possible adventures for our family.
Obviously, things are still wildly different than in any prior year, but I hope (hope, hope), we can manage a family vacation of some sort—any sort—that feels safe this year.
I know I’m not at all alone in this hope for 2021.
And lastly...
Weather Transitions
I can so clearly remember the moment, a few years ago, when I was walking to pick-up Chica at school in McKinney and I was talking with a dear friend while I made this realization:
Less than two short weeks after Little Man starts kindergarten this Fall, and I finally have all three kiddos in elementary school—thus closing out nearly a decade of in-the-weeds, glorious but challenging mothering—I’ll turn 40.
If that ain’t a punch to the gut, I don’t know what is.
When I made that realization all those years ago, I laughed, looked at my friend, and joked: just go ahead and pencil in my midlife crisis for that week. Ha.
Hilarious, but true.
Worse still...I am currently the age of my father when he passed away, and if that isn’t the biggest mind trip, I don’t know what is. It’s truly only something you can perceive—turning older than your parent ever got to—unless you’re the child of someone who died young. It’s both a tragedy and an incredible motivation to make the most of your years.
It has hands-down been the greatest joy and privilege of my life to be a stay-at-home mom. It fills me to the brim with purpose and satisfaction. And I’m fortunate to already have a path in mind for my time after my babies are in school. I don’t feel lost as I look toward that time, I feel excited. And energized. And antsy for it, quite frankly.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t loathe that well-intended but dreaded (dreaded, dreaded) question that people already pose to me: What are you going to do with all that free time???
Ugh.
In honor of this calendar year, I might just spend the next eight months coming up with 2,021 pithy answers.
Or perhaps I’ll chose not to think about it at all. Because my annoyance with that question has 100% to do with myself and my self-worth, and not with those who ask it.
And more importantly...in the end, if there’s one thing 2020 taught us, it’s that best laid plans are, well...easily thrown out the window.
Things can change in the blink of an eye, and all we can do is roll with it—and any and every life stage and transition that’s thrown our way.
And I can only hope to navigate my own personal ones with grace and positivity.
So, LET’S DO THIS, 2021.
Bring it on.
We’re ready!
Stay healthy, stay sane peeps.
And don’t care so much about New Year’s resolutions.
Just be happy and live.
Over and out.
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