DeLappenings: Mother’s Day

Okay, peeps.

Let’s take a look at my beauuuuuuuutiful babies and my smiling Mama face that looks all perfect and glorious and happy. And then we’ll rewind for the behind-the-scene vibes, m’kay???

M’kay.

A gorgeous pic, yes? Even had a lovely God-ray of sunlight in there, and we were definitely happy in that shot.

But…a few hours earlier, I was in tears before it was even 9:30 a.m. on Mother’s Day, because…

I started my first load of laundry shortly after 8 a.m. and already felt behind…

I was looking around at my disaster of a house, counting the hours it would take to put back together…

I was feeling burdened by the massive laundry piles…

I was discouraged by the yard work still left to finish after hours of backbreaking work yesterday…

My adorable pup was jumping at my legs to go on a walk and I was a bit resentful, as it would get me sweaty before church…

And I basically just wanted to stand there and cry under the weight of ALL I needed to accomplish.

And so I did.

The hubby kindly took the pup on a walk alone so I could have 20 minutes to clean up the kitchen and brush my hair in peace, and I re-set my energy so I wouldn’t be a totally Negative Nelly all day.

And you know what? I seriously considered a plan that was on the table where I’d skip church to tackle some to-do’s in peace while the rest of my beautiful family went on without me, and I’m so stinking glad I rejected that plan and stuck like glue to my crew, because God had some specific words for me today, and I needed to hear them.

Even if we were 11 minutes late to church because I took a selfish few minutes for some backyard pictures that could include my fur baby before we had to leave her behind:

Okay, so. We took the pics, we raced to church, we weren’t the only ones late—not by a long shot—and I felt immediately better for sitting inside the sanctuary and listening to the music and prayers and message.

And then the sermon came. :)

We’re in the middle of a sermon series about getting UnStuck. How to go from Good Friday thinking (burdened, stuck and despairing) to Easter Living (in the hope of Christ and the promises he fulfills), and today, the pastor wisely catered the sermon toward the burden of being a caretaker. Ahem…as in, a MOTHER.

I think I cried not once, not twice, but thrice. I tried my best not to make it obvious when my one Kleenex started disintegrating.

There were several—several—times I was nodding along a little vigorously, like: it’s me, hi, you’re talking about ME.

Now. There were so many lovely parts of the sermon, but let me count a few. Namely, the fact that the pastor didn’t leave us with only a few Biblical passages, but, also, some clear action items:

1. Name Your Burden

2. Ask For—And Accept!—Help

3. REST*

*And if, during that rest, you find your mind telling you to feel ashamed, that’s not God talking.

It sounds so simple when it’s listed above in bullet point fashion, but it was profound in the moment.

My burden in these days/years is Overwhelm.

I feel a sense of overwhelm from the moment I wake to the moment I fall asleep (usually to a bullet-pointed mental list of the next days’ tasks).

I’m overwhelmed by the demands of our schedule, the needs of my dependents, the chores of my home, the emotions of everyone I care for, the expectations of society, the personal ambitions I have without adequate time for accomplishment, the ticking clock of every minute, every hour and every day. Even when things are mostly good—and they are; everyone is happy and healthy and thriving!—it’s overwhelming to manage it all.

Heck, I’m even overwhelmed sometimes by past me, who managed to accomplish more, or love on my kids better, or find a free moment for something fun or creative that feels elusive these days.

Name it tame it. That’s the advice people give.

Overwhelm, you are my burden.

But, guess what?? I’ve become better at asking for and receiving help. BY FORCE. There simply isn’t enough time for the overwhelming demands of our current life stage, so helping hands are not only needed but necessary.

In a future post, I’ll share some of the ways the kiddos have been tasked with taking on greater responsibility. And, truly, the hubby and I have had become more adept at dividing and conquering, as well.

But that third bit of advice from our pastor? To rest?? Goodness. That’s one I definitely haven’t figured out. There are days when I actively try to carve out an hour—even half an hour—for a bit of cup-filling time, but I’m sorry to say that it just isn’t happening right now.

I know I’m not alone in this feeling. And I don’t exactly have an answer…except to say that my prayer for the upcoming summer season is a slight change of pace that can help renew my spirit and give me a reprieve from this feeling of overwhelm and constant awareness of the ticking clock.

To bring things full circle and talk about today…

Being at church, hearing a sermon that I truly needed, was a bit of cup filling. And then my beautiful family went for our traditional Mother’s Day brunch that sparked joy—especially when we captured some pictures that are always so precious to me.

Then we came home, took my demanding fur baby on another walk (to make up for leaving her for several hours), and then the hubby and I got to work.

With enough of a break via church/brunch, he and I each powered through four hours of chores and it was terrible. He was doing yard work and I was a whirling dervish inside, cleaning bathrooms, churning laundry, scrubbing floors, all the fun stuff.

But I did it with a bit more joy in my heart knowing it would set me up for a better week, and we ended the evening at peace in all we’d accomplished.

In truth, I’m not sure exactly what I’d love for anyone to take away from this post.

Maybe that a beautiful Mother’s Day pic isn’t representative of the story behind it?

Or that I’m aware that I’m in the thick of the golden years that are equal parts overwhelming and rewarding?

Or that God is telling me through many sources to figure out a way to rest, and soon, so maybe I should factor that into my summer plans?

I’ll take all this under advisement. ;)

But in the meantime, I want other mothers in similar life stages to know they’re not alone. Every stage and phase is beautiful and challenging and rewarding.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even rest.

Okay…ending this with a slew of beautiful pics of my babies. I love them SO MUCH, and I’m so glad I’m their Mama. :)

Happy Mother’s Day, peeps!

Over and out.