Electricity, Oh How We Love Thee

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to have the electricity go out when you have a toddler and an infant underfoot (and close to bedtime), wonder no more. 'Cause I'm about to tell ya.

First, the power will go out just before 4 pm as you're sitting upstairs with both girls staring out the three huge windows of the playroom.

Then, the trees in the neighbor's backyard will start to swirl like they're about to take flight, and trash will come out of nowhere to fly past like you're in The Wizard of Oz.

Then you'll freak.

And grab the toddler ('cause the infant is already in your arms), who reluctantly abandons her Leap Frog computer as she's dragged toward the stairs by a panicking mother who's seeking a lower level for shelter, just in case.

Then you'll sit huddled downstairs as the rain comes down, and pass off your iPhone to your toddler as leverage to get her to stay put.

And then, the fun will really begin.

Because the danger of the storm will pass, it'll start to get darker and a bit humid indoors, and you'll start to think: I have no freaking idea how I'm gonna keep a mutiny at bay.

Oh--and the hubby will be working late.

Eventually, when you've told the toddler ten gazillion times that the TV doesn't work so you can't watch Sofia, you'll drag your crazy party of three out onto the patio and attempt to keep your toddler entertained yet out of the rain.

Then you'll have a hilarious, hollered convo with the neighbor's kids who are out on their upstairs balcony under the orders of their father, doing the exact same let's-try-to-keep-busy thing.

Then your infant will start to get restless, and time will slow to a snail's pace.

Then when your infant starts to cry and your toddler starts to whine/whimper, you'll pull a trick out of your hat and load a DVD on your computer to stall.

Then you'll curse yourself for picking Beaury and the Beast, 'cause geez louise is it a scary show for a youngin'.

Eventually, the hubby will make it home, the rain will keep on coming, and you'll have to drag the whole gang out for dinner--manually opening the garage door, of course.

On the way back home, you'll foolishly hope for restored power when the infant starts to scream relentlessly. But no such luck.

Instead, you'll...

Discover you only have one, tiny functioning flashlight.

Listen to more screaming.

Chase your toddler--who doesn't want to stay put--around in the dark.

Listen to more screaming.

Drop your wailing infant's paci on the floor and never find it in the dark.

And...more screaming.

Herd the whole, loud gang upstairs ('cause you only have the one flashlight so you gotta stick together) to grab PJs, burp cloths, paci's, the pack 'n play, and your last shred of sanity--no, wait, that's long gone.

Screaming.

Then you'll scrounge around and find--praise the heavens!--AAA batteries for the other flashlight, which you load, then set on the counter to deal with the screaming infant, only to have it fall (the flashlight, not the infant) to the floor. And break. 

Yup. More screaming. (Is it you this time?)

Then you'll drag everyone into the master bedroom--except for your toddler, who keeps making a run for it--to set up the pack 'n play whilst huddling around the one, tiny flashlight.

Then, when you hoist the toddler onto the bed for containment purposes, she'll spill a bottle of water, necessitating a sheet change at the. most. inopportune. time. EVER.

Seriously--how can one baby cry so much???

The toddler will keep running out to the kitchen to shout, "fire, fire," at the one candle you manage to light, while you sink-bathe the infant in an attempt to calm her down.

Eventually, the pack 'n play will be assembled, the infant will have cried herself out, and...now it's time to deal with the manic toddler.

Showering together is the only way to get her clean, so you go with it.

Then the infant will rouse again.

I could go on and on and on about the "fun" but I'll just cut to the end.

Toddler is finally asleep in the pack 'n play. Infant is awake but not crying. Hubby is pulling out of the driveway after manually opening the garage again so he can make a quick run for another flashlight and more batteries, and...

The power comes back on.

I've never been so grateful for electricity in my life.

And luckily, the kids were still smiling today, so no permanent damage done.

Is it Friday yet???